Dave Delahaye

maxsilvestri: andrewti: In case U jerks ain’t herd, Gabe and...

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:38:00 -0500

andrewti:

In case U jerks ain’t herd, Gabe and Max have a new goddamn talk show. it iz freeeeeeeeeesh.

[Gabe and Max’s 100 Seconds #1]

(via details.com, the finest website for men)

We are back and wearing flowers!

When this comes out on DVD, we will include 10 seconds of hilarious deleted scenes!

(via haveabeagle) Every other Tumblr is bullshit now.

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 16:27:17 -0500

(via haveabeagle)

Every other Tumblr is bullshit now.

No. Next question, please!

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 16:22:07 -0500

No. Next question, please!

Hey guys, do you like movies? Me too! I put together a...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:05:00 -0500

Hey guys, do you like movies? Me too! I put together a compilation of some of my favorite movie quotes!

It is sad that those children died.

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 14:23:00 -0400

It is sad that those children died.

Whoever Sent This To Me Is Gunna Get It

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 14:11:10 -0400

Whoever Sent This To Me Is Gunna Get It

Do you ever wake up and wonder “how did my life get this...

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:31:49 -0400

Do you ever wake up and wonder “how did my life get this way?”

Fringe Is Retarded, Always

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:02:46 -0400

Gabe: did you watch the most recent fringe?
Andrew: i think?
Gabe: it's a week old
Andrew: yes
Andrew: hilarious
Gabe: um
Gabe: here's a question
Gabe: a) how come everyone without fail
Gabe: who sees a demon?
Gabe: just tries immediately to kill it?
Andrew: haha
Andrew: yeah
Gabe: no one gets scared and runs away?
Gabe: or curls up?
Andrew: gabe
Gabe: and here's another one
Gabe: if the guy is addicted to dreams because it's like your best dream times a million
Gabe: what is he geting out of their waking nightmares?
Andrew: right
Gabe: and here's another
Andrew: yeah
Gabe: what kind of addicition gives you a split personality?
Andrew: yeah
Gabe: fucking olivia's bullshit step-father alcoholic jekyl and hyde theory
Gabe: made me so mad
Gabe: and i also like
Gabe: "see how these two handwritings are different? it's the same person"
Gabe: huh?
Andrew: haha
Andrew: yeah
Andrew: after all their "science"
Andrew: they use handwritiing analysis
Andrew: the part about demons is hilarious too
Andrew: also the cannibal part
Gabe: right
Andrew: like if that's a lucid dream
Andrew: is that how you react when you have a nightmare?
Andrew: you just kill the shit out of the thing that's bothering you?
Gabe: also the dying instantly of exhaustion with gray hair?
Andrew: haha
Andrew: YES
Andrew: the gray hair
Gabe: and also how at tehe end
Gabe: how the pilot
Gabe: dreams that he is still flying towards the bridge
Andrew: yeah
Gabe: instead of a boat?
Gabe: that is his dream?
Gabe: also
Gabe: i loved when they first showed his photo
Gabe: and i was like oh, it's a pilot, great
Gabe: and then it was a PONTOON BOAT PILOT
Gabe: hahahaha
Gabe: the world's most common type of pilot
Andrew: best show
Gabe: amazing
Gabe: i wish that show was my dad
Andrew: well, they probably wouldn't give him budget to make the pilot crash into some skyscraper
Andrew: because, why the fuck not, just meaninglessly reference 9/11
all the goddamn time
Gabe: hahaha
Gabe: well there was no 9/11
Andrew: but yeah
Gabe: it would be funny if
Gabe: to save the pontoon boat pilot
Gabe: instead of shooting the server with bullets (duh)
Gabe: they opened up a rift between the two realities, and he caused another 9/11

Time to make the tough decisions.

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 17:02:40 -0400

Time to make the tough decisions.

I am pretty sure this is not a multiple choice question, seeing...

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 15:56:32 -0400

I am pretty sure this is not a multiple choice question, seeing as there is only one correct answer, and that is AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Shut It Down. Shut It All Down.

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 15:18:00 -0400

[re: http://videogum.com/archives/hate-watching/the_jeff_dunham_show_is_the_wo_097221.html]

Andrew (12:11:35 PM): 5.3 million viewers
Gabe (12:11:38 PM): hahahha
Gabe (12:11:43 PM): fuck america
Andrew (12:11:44 PM): hoyl shit
Gabe (12:11:44 PM): i'm moving
Andrew (12:11:48 PM): that is seriously so many people
Gabe (12:11:54 PM): yeah, that is a lot of people
Andrew (12:14:08 PM): :(
Gabe (12:14:23 PM): :(
Andrew (12:14:25 PM): see why I voted for John McCain?
Gabe (12:14:36 PM): i know

Why aren’t people going crazy over this Californication...

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 15:17:35 -0400

Why aren’t people going crazy over this Californication poster? Surely the New Yorker should do a 50-page profile on whoever art directed it. Jon Hamm sat in a comfortable chair submerged in waist-high water for part of an afternoon? WELL DAVID DUCHOVNY DROWNED TO DEATH.

Yikes. That baby is WAY TOO BIG.

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 16:49:32 -0400

Yikes. That baby is WAY TOO BIG.

The second season of Delocated is going to be much more focused...

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 11:47:35 -0400

The second season of Delocated is going to be much more focused on middle-management and how to organize an efficient and reliable Human Resources department.

Never Forget, Indeed

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 10:50:00 -0400

Never Forget, Indeed

Thank You, Mark Whicker

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 16:14:03 -0400

This is pretty intense, but I think in the end we can all agree that this guy has done Jaycee Dugard a very valuable service:

It doesn’t sound as if Jaycee Dugard got to see a sports page.

Box scores were not available to her from June 10, 1991 until Aug. 31 of this year.

She never saw a highlight. Never got to the ballpark for Beach Towel Night. Probably hasn’t high-fived in a while.

She was not allowed to spike a volleyball. Or pitch a softball. Or smack a forehand down the line. Or run in a 5-footer for double bogey.

Now, that’s deprivation.

Can you imagine? Dugard was 11 when she was kidnapped and stashed in Phillip Garrido’s backyard. She was 29 when she escaped. Penitentiary inmates at least get an hour of TV a day. Dugard was cut off from everything but the elements.

How long before she fully digests the world she re-enters? How difficult to adjust to such cataclysmic change?

More than that, who’s going to explain the fact that there’s a President Obama?

Dugard’s stepfather says she’s going to need a lot of therapy — you think? — so perhaps she should take a respite before confronting the new realities.

So, Jaycee, whenever you’re ready, here’s what you’ve missed:

•Barry Bonds, who was just leading the Pirates to their second NL East title, wound up breaking Henry Aaron’s home run record. How did such a skinny guy manage that? We’ll deal with that later.

•Well, actually, some baseball players began taking drugs in order to hit more home runs and throw faster fastballs. Football players, who had cornered the market on most of their drugs, began driving drunk, slapping their wives, selling drugs, and killing people. The baseball players caught more grief.

•Michael Jordan did indeed win the big one, and five others.

•Yeah, this golfer really is named Tiger Woods.

•Stock car drivers now marry international models and are invited to the White House.

•Domed stadiums, like the ones in Houston and Minneapolis, are considered obsolete, or at least unfit for baseball.

•John McEnroe became a respected television analyst, just as tennis adopted a replay system that eliminated the need for McEnroe to argue.

•Magic Johnson is a billionaire businessman, and most of us have forgotten just why he had to retire.

•You missed absolutely no Servite victories over Mater Dei in football.

•Or World Series championship for the Dodgers.

•Or Stanley Cup championships for the Kings, even though Wayne Gretzky took them to the Finals in 1993.

•Mike Tyson now makes fun of himself in movies.

•The Anaheim Ducks won the Stanley Cup in ‘07. Yeah, a hockey team came to Anaheim. Yeah, they built an arena in Anaheim.

•I know you’ve had trouble digesting all this so far, but they also built a basketball arena at USC. Honest to God.

•A guy from East L.A. named Oscar De La Hoya now makes boxing contenders rich and famous. Just as he did when he was boxing.

•The Angels won a World Series. When you learn who they beat, you’ll understand why.

•Speaking of the Giants they did not move, but they did get a new stadium downtown. The Florida Marlins, who did not exist when you left, won two World Series and are getting their own ballpark. Even if you were there, it’s hard to believe.

•For the most part, fans have stopped doing The Wave.

•In fact, you don’t see many beach balls in Dodger Stadium or Angel Stadium anymore.

•The two NFL teams that we used to have? They’ve been gone for 15 years. You haven’t heard anyone complain about that? Neither have we.

•Jackie Autry isn’t in charge of the Angels anymore, as you might have surmised by looking at the standings.

•Joe Torre now manages the Dodgers, after a fruitful detour through New York. Tommy Lasorda? Sure, he’s around. He hasn’t called?

•You disappeared a couple of months before John Daly came into our lives at the ‘91 PGA. Who’s John Daly? Never mind.

•Todd Marinovich showed why careers aren’t played on paper.

•USC is one of college football’s elite programs, three coaches later.

•The Red Sox won two World Series, which proves that history is bunk. The White Sox even won one. But not the Cubs.

•Cal Ripken Jr. broke Lou Gehrig’s record for consecutive games played but never threatened Vladimir Guerrero’s record for most consecutive swings.

•One blessed constant remains: Vin Scully.

•And ballplayers, who always invent the slang no matter what ESPN would have you believe, came up with an expression for a home run that you might appreciate.

Congratulations, Jaycee. You left the yard.

(via)

AMERICAN HERO.

Holy shit! My dear dear friend, Ms. Jenny Slate, is the newest SNL cast member!

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 23:18:49 -0400

Holy shit! My dear dear friend, Ms. Jenny Slate, is the newest SNL cast member!:

(via joemande)

I cannot describe how exciting this is. But I will try. Tomorrow. On Videogum.com. (SPOILER ALERT: IT’S FUCKING VERY EXCITING!)

joemande: This guy runs New York? Is that what Michael Bloomberg...

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 15:49:18 -0400

joemande:

This guy runs New York? Is that what Michael Bloomberg looks like now? Dude’s been working out! Good for him! He should probably stop using the N word!

This guy is OK, but the guy lurking behind him is clearly the talent.

Am I the only person who isn’t blown away by the Don Draper sitting in water advertisement for...

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 18:18:25 -0400

Am I the only person who isn’t blown away by the Don Draper sitting in water advertisement for Mad Men season 3? Like, I’m excited for season 3, too, you guys, but I’ve seen Don Draper before, and I’ve also seen chairs and office furniture and sitting and water before. It’s a clever enough ad, but people seem to be going bonkers! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT HE ACTUALLY SAT IN WATER FOR THE PHOTOSHOOT? Yes, I can. I have absolutely no trouble believing that. What?

If I knew how to do computers better, I’d create a...

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 16:42:40 -0400

If I knew how to do computers better, I’d create a “Which Soprano’s Character Are You” Quiz and everyone would turn out to be Artie Bucco. Oh well. TALK ABOUT FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.